Psilocybin Startover

Photo by Artur Kornakov on Unsplash

I took a month off from microdosing and it was solidly one of the worst months of my life. That's counting the storm of hormonal emotions I felt with all four pregnancies. 

However, I also admit it came without the debilitating withdrawal symptoms I felt with my antidepressant. There was no brick wall of headaches, dizziness, or overall ill feeling.

At that time, I added magnesium, iron, and zinc to my diet and did my best to bolster any deficiencies I was likely experiencing. I mean–I've been pregnant or nursing fairly nonstop since 2016. My body is the picture of depletion. I don't eat as I should and I live on caffeine. It's no wonder my brain runs like a rusted-out engine with a busted radiator. 

With that said, the time allowed me to take note of where the mushroom capsules were saving me. The effects lingered for a couple of weeks after I stopped cold turkey before tapering off into a tortuous menty-b (mental breakdown for those not on TikTok). My thinking was cloudy, littered with intrusive thoughts, and fought waves of emotions that resulted in turbulent mood swings. My poor husband… 

But that's why I started this experiment and journey into personal growth–to examine the strengths of microdosing for depression and anxiety. 

I ordered another month’s supply. And why wouldn't I?? The amount of psilocybin I require to feel good (like a normal human) is minuscule. It doesn't cloud my brain like alcohol and doesn't make me feel like shit afterward. There is no buzz. It's like taking a vitamin that quiets your mind, focuses your work, and lengthens your fuse. Doesn't every mom want that? 

I'm present. I'm happy. I'm involved. 

Honestly, if I want to continue homeschooling my kids, I need this. My kids need this. 

But there have to be downsides, right? 

Okay, yes. The accessibility is limited. I've found one reputable company that will ship to me, but it's a great deal more expensive than my antidepressant was. I'm fortunate that my husband has no problem paying for it, though, and he's completely supportive. 

Also, the stigma is still very much a thing. People still cast sideways glances if you mention taking psychedelics for mental health. To that, I encourage them to do their research. Listen to podcasts, and watch one of the several documentaries on Netflix. The research has been there since the 50s. It's a shame that it was buried because of a bullshit political drug war. 

We're going to have to be our own advocates–those of us that are mushroom curious. If we're taking this mainstream, society has to see us. They need to see people taking the medicine, living functionally, and feeling at peace with ourselves and our trauma. That's the only way. Because if the only experience they have is on TV, that's not real. That's not Mary at the grocery store or Cheryl at the salon. Real people make this work. 

I encourage you to find a podcast, Instagram account, or blog that focuses on the subject if you're curious. Heck, use the Substack chat feature and ask me any burning questions you might have. 

I'm sending this one out to everyone, but if you'd like access to the upcoming content where I dive into particular companies and their products, subscribe to “Incapable of Happy.” 

Thank you guys for reading. And as always, the book content will be free ✌🏼